Guest Blog: My Husband

Today I have the joy of letting my husband, Ernie, share a little about our first son, Haddon. I'm very excited to have this on here, hope you enjoy reading about his love for Haddon and his even bigger love for Jesus. Thanks honey, I love you.

This weekend marks the celebration of the death and resurrection of our Savior Jesus Christ. We will be gathering to celebrate his perfect life, his death as the ultimate curse of God for sin, and his resurrection, the proclamation of the Father’s satisfaction with his Son’s sacrifice. We will join the millions of Christ-followers who see the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus as the most central and important event in the history of the world.

This year as we celebrate Easter we will also be celebrating another important celebration in the life of the Blanco family, the 2^nd anniversary of the life and death of our first-born son, Haddon Brooks Blanco. While Easter has always been important to us, through our son Haddon, God has given us a lens in which to view Easter. We are far more aware of the joy that the resurrections provides as an anchor of hope for all who are in Christ. We are growing and experiencing a new understanding of awaiting that one day when all who are in Christ will be raised to glory with the resurrected Christ.

Haddon has taught me that God’s love for his own son is far greater than my love for my own children. As a proud father, I have experienced what many other fathers have experienced when they transition into the role of fatherhood, an immense awakening of fatherly love. We are so proud of our kids the instant that we first see them. We almost immediately began searching for similarities to claim before anyone else can suggest otherwise. We find for the first time joy in being awakened and depended upon during the night (though certainly this applies much more thoroughly with our wives). We would do anything to show our kids how much we love them. This is a gift from God that our hearts are instantly tied to our children, as if we had been best friends for a countless number of years. That is exactly how I felt as I entered fatherhood when Haddon arrived two years ago. I loved him instantly. My bond to him formed quicker than any other bond God has ever given me, even quicker than the bond that first formed meeting his mother and my wife, Lisa.

God’s relationship with his Son is so profoundly deeper than my relationship with both of my sons. Whereas my bond with Haddon, and his younger brother Ernie has lasted as long as I have known them, God’s bond with his son has existed from the foundations of eternity. Prior to the coming of Jesus to earth, the Father and Son had never experienced any separation. Their bond was so profoundly rich because of their unique relationship that it is difficult for Christians today to even conceive of the love that exists between Father and Son.

The Lord has also taught me these past two years that the deeper the love one experiences with another, the deeper the hurt one feels when experiencing a separation from the relationship. This is why the separation of the Son and the Father on the cross is unparalleled in all of world history. Not only did God separate himself physically from his Son, but he also separated himself from any sense of goodwill, of love, and of affection for his beloved first-born. He so separated himself from his relationship with his Son on the cross, that Jesus literally became the curse and scorn of God by hanging on the cross at Calvary. And because that separation between Father and Son occurred, we were given over victory over the temporary separation that occurs when a child of God departs from this earth. I am reminded when my heart aches for the separation that I currently feel from Haddon, that God the Father is more than familiar with my pain. He has destroyed the sting of death through the loving sacrifice of Jesus. As Haddon's dad, its just a little easier to understand some of the grief God’s heart must have went through Christ was afflicted with the sins of the world.

Lastly, I am reminded that God is the magnificent victor over death and sin. Jesus did not stay dead in the grave, but as the Scriptures remind us Jesus conquered death and rose on the third day appearing to over 500 witnesses before ascending to the Father in glory. God’s stamp of approval of his Son’s death in the resurrection is the reason that there is hope to be found in a world marred by sin. This hope is spoken of in 1 Peter 1:7 which states, “In this you rejoice , though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” The resurrection reminds me that each trial God has called me to and will call me to, are carefully designed for my good and for the everlasting glory of Jesus Christ. This Easter, which is also the same day as Haddon’s birthday, I will be rejoicing in my God who has victoriously conquered death and promised new life to all who put their faith and trust in him. The resurrected Christ indeed is our only hope for victory over death.

Romans 8:32 “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will ne not also with him graciously give us all things?”

Doing Your Husband Good and Not Harm

"Remember, we're on the same team."

That's what my husband Ernie says to remind me that in our marriage we should always be for each other, thinking of the other, and seeking the other's good. Because sometimes I forget that, then it's as if Ernie and I are on different teams and things turn into a battle, and in battle you are only looking for how you can win and what will most benefit you. The worst part is when it's a battle, the other side is the enemy. Ugly.

Some friends and I are memorizing Proverbs 31:10-31. The last few days I have been thinking about verses 11-12:

"The heart of her husband trusts in her,

and he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good, and not harm,

all the days of her life."

This catches my attention so much when I come across it, like I need it to be my alarm clock so that it's the first thing I hear every morning, so that I can remember that I'm not going into battle today, I'm looking to serve my husband today.

I thought through for a bit what it means to be bringing harm to your husband, and any husband who is a believer in Christ I think could tell you these are true. It's bringing harm to my husband when:

-I tear him down in front of other people, or talk about his weaknesses for fun.

-I dismiss his correction or I dismiss any kind of guidance in a conversation from him.

-I use words like "always" or "never". ie: "you always get mad" is communicating that Ernie is mad at me 24/7, "always" non stop. Which is never true. So he's left feeling like he's failing around the clock. It's not good to make the leader feel like such a failure.

-Putting the opinions of my friends or family above his.

-Assuming there's just things I already know about, so I don't need to necessarily take to heart if Ernie wants to guide me through like household things, details about the baby, ways I could grow in being hospitable, just things I see as 'woman stuff'.

-Feeling like I always have to correct him, especially in front of people.

-Using hateful words.


Just reading those feels draining, so I can only imagine trying to lead a wife or family and having those things beating me to a pulp spiritually. It will spiritually take a toll on them, it's worse than physically punching them in the face. If I'm doing that all the time, I'm killing him.That's why it's harmful.

Now, for a breath of fresh air (finally). Here's some ways I can be doing my husband good:

-Pray for my heart to have joy when he comes home from work. To be showing thankfulness that he's home with us and he's worked hard for us.

-Doing what I can to make our home a place of rest and encouragement for him.

-Listening to (even looking for) his guidance and leadership in our decisions and conversations.

-Taking to heart and reflecting on any correction he has for me, remembering God uses him to teach me things. Not seeing this as a way my husband is out to get me.

-Look for what he needs prayer for specifically and pray throughout your day for him.


I think when we are practically looking for ways to be "doing our husbands good and not harm", we are setting up an environment for our husbands to grow in their walk with the Lord. And our husbands have a sweet trust in us as their wives, because they know we desire for their good.

So, what are ways you can do your husband good and not harm?

Baby Visits Great Grandma

We went on a trip to my old stomping grounds so the baby could visit his great grandma. My grandma is a huge joy in my life, as she has experienced great loss before and her faith in the Lord encourages me as we walk through our loss of Haddon. Just yesterday I found the note she wrote me of encouragment when I was first pregnant with Haddon, and the note she wrote us after he died is on our refrigerator: "happy with Jesus, life unending, could not ask for more." 

So, of course she was anxious to meet our second little boy! That kid did awesome on the plane. Both flights when we were getting off we had moms say "There was a baby here behind me??" or "He didn't make a peep." Of course when he had a major poop it was interesting trying to change him on my lap. At one point I handed the baby to Ernie so I could take a little nap, and when I woke up I told him how I felt so much better. He looked at me and was like, "You were asleep for like two minutes." haha, I guess any shut eye these days is like super fuel.

I forgot to mention, this trip started at three in the morning.  Yeah, we are those people who, if it saves us money, we buy the 6am flight. We were defiitely zombies when we woke up. It was just wake up, feed the baby,  down some coffee and fall into the car. But we made it! 

The coolest thing was Ernie Brooks rolling over for the first time, in front of family!!

He LOVED his great grandma

Some pictures lately

Life's been good. Me and the boys all caught a cold at home, but it's still been good! Here's some pictures of things lately, except Ernie Brooks and his friend Nathan. Gosh that was like a month ago.

Our trip to the mountains

Last weekend we spent some time with Ernie's family in the fresh mountain air. And rain.
Ernie and I love going there. It's a cute little town that is perfect for family trips. I got to spend some extra time with Ernie's sister which I really enjoyed!
We just so happened to be up there around the time of our anniversary (4 years!), so we spent the afternoon at a really cute cafe and browsed antique shops, our favorite past time up there. We also walked around the beautiful lake up there, our other favorite past time. So here are a billion pictures of our stay up there and our baby. It is his first vacation, so he's basically in all of them.
Thanks to Yvette again who took some of these photos!

Happy birthday to me!

A really good friend of mine, Kelsey, and I have birthdays a couple days a part. Our husbands surprised us with a night at a resort!

Picture 1: giving kisses to a sweet boy who went into the pool for the first time. His little swim outfit got very wet and he didn't fuss at all. What a champ.

Picture 2: He loved sleeping on our bed for a morning nap. Of course, who wouldn't want to fall into a deep slumber on satin sheets?

Picture 3: What a hunk. Carrying around a baby in a pool. He caught my eye, that's for sure.

Picture 4: slumbering again, sweetly on those sheets.

Picture 5: does this kid love his dad or what?

Picture 6: Kelsey and I with our boys and her niece!

Not pictured are some sweet features of the resort. There was a Keurig in every room (joy joy joy joy), and a really cool area at night with fire pits for anyone to make s'mores.

Thank you honey, I love you:)

A Day Together

 

Today was a sweet day with my loving husband.

We spent some of our time at home, Ernie read and I worked on a set of small felt toys. He even brought out the guitar and played some songs he played for me when we were dating. One was "Chicago" by Mat Kearney, so wonderful.

We also took a walk. We talked a bit about a couple we knew from our days in Louisville, their baby girl Glory went to be with Jesus two days ago. Our hearts are so heavy for them as we remember what the first few days were like without our baby boy Haddon. By the grace of God, it's clear that they are trusting the Lord in their sadness. Glory's funeral is in a couple days, you could pray for them. Glory looks just like her mama. Psalm 40:11 is a deep truth for this type of sorrow, and you can pray for them to see God's promise of never withholding mercy from them.

An Explanation to a Big Change

I remember meeting Ernie for the very first time. I was invited by a friend to come to the house Ernie lived at with a few other guys for their Tuesday night church get together. What I remember most about that night was that Ernie stood out amongst everyone as this wonderful man, not just wonderful but I could tell he was really precious. I'd never met a man who's love for Jesus could be sensed instantly by just being in the same room with him. Nothing has ever, ever caught my attention like Ernie, and I remember losing sleep and consuming all my day dreaming about him. Less than I year later I experienced a huge kindness from God that I did not deserve and I got to become Ernie's wife, and experience Ernie's precious love and leadership in our family for as long as we both shall live. Ernie's desire to honor Christ in his decisions and life is a huge grace of God you can see in him. And every time Ernie and I meet someone new and I say "This is my husband Ernie", in my head I always want to add "And can't you tell already how stunning his heart is? And isn't he gorgeous?" :)

The last few weeks I've thought about our second son and his name. But my thoughts were heavy on his name especially last night. You see, Judson was this missionary that really captured both Ernie and I, both in his conviction for the lost and his prayer life. What had drawn us to this name was a life we'd read and learned about and felt it would be wonderful to give to our son. But last night my heart suddenly didn't want to pass up giving our son a name from his father, who helps me love Jesus more everyday than anyone in history I've learned from. And deep down this was certainly something Ernie wanted for a son.
So, because he was on a night shift and I couldn't sleep, we had to make something very official through text message:

Ernie: Well, what do you think of Ernie Brooks?

Lisa: I think Ernie Brooks is really cute, I really want to do it.

Ernie: When can I tell people that name has changed?

Lisa: Are we making this official now?

Ernie: As long as you are 100 percent.

Lisa: We'd better make this official now, I don't have much pregnancy time left to think through it anymore!

Ernie: Did you tell the baby his name changed?

Lisa: Oh, I should definitely do that.

And then, 15 minutes after suggesting I should really get some sleep:

Ernie: I'M SO EXCITED!!!

Lisa: I know I can't sleep!

So, I'd like to re-introduce our son to you. Our little Ernie Brooks Blanco. He's due in 8 weeks:)
The name Judson will probably be saved if God gives us another boy, we'll see.

Our poor niece who's been working so hard on saying "Judson", sorry sweetie!

Vacation

Ernie and are out and about, away from home. For a week. A week is a looong time we have come to find. But we are enjoying so much together time after his seven shifts of work in a row. What have we done so far you may ask?

-got setttled into a cozy little place we are staying and watched a couple movies

-went to a sweet little church on sunday morning, the pastor gave such a good sermon on Acts 8.

-visited Ernie's cousin who lives in a log cabin/house it was awesome...and ate some killer gyros.

-played lots of pool and im proud to say i won 5 out of 7.
-hiked about one and a half trails. Power to those super athletic and active pregnant ladies but i'm just not one of them at all.

- Ate frozen yogurt one night and homeade prickly pear ice cream a few days later. Pictures later. Goodnight!

3 year anniversary

(Written in July 2011)

Ernie and I took a trip to the beach this past week to celebrate 3 wonderful years of marriage. I know that, since the Lord promises to be working in us to look more like His son, Jesus, much has changed in me and my walk with the Lord in the last three years. I know that Ernie is a huge instrument God has used to make that happen, and is continuing to use every day. By the grace of God I can stand by a man who loves the Lord Jesus with all his heart, and desires the same for his wife and family. And I’m so proud that he’s Haddon’s daddy.