Somedays I lock myself in our guest room when the kids aren't looking, and I'll slowly slide to the floor and rest my head against the door.
While I'm sneaking away, I'll recall the days I so desperately wanted a home full of loud, busy kids. I remember weeping because it was so quiet, and my sweet newborn was not with us to fill our house with cries for our help. I remember the quiet and how it was sometimes so unbearable that it was the very thing that led me to Jesus. I remember the pleas for help to not lose the hope that I knew was mine in Christ.
Before I unlock the door to face the requests of my kiddos again, I'll remember when I was without them.
I guess I didn't realize how God would answer my cries. I know he answered them in the moment, filling me with hope from the Spirit and comforting me in my sorrow. But he also answered them by giving us four more children who are full of things to say, things they need and questions they have.
My heart longed for these things but my mind and body are also weak so I get weary of these requests I longed for. I'm tired, quickly angered and asking them to take breaks from their requests.
But most times my voice isn't showing patience when I ask them to put a cap on their requests.
So of course, the Spirit is doing his work and showing me how the Lord has already done this perfectly for me and that I am weak and need his help. But what does my children's questions have to do with the Lord?
God has asked his own children in Philippians 4:6 to make their requests known to him. And he has way more than a few kids. His children are everywhere around the globe, and he invites them to be making their requests known at every hour they need. He tells them not to be anxious and try to deal with their anxiety alone but to tell him and bring their questions and their need.
I realized that I am reflecting God's patience and love by having an ear for my children's requests. I can help them in showing them how to ask and teach them self control, but also bear with their questions and needs. We have a Father who listens and asks us to make our requests known, and I think my kids can know Jesus in a really special and unique way when I also hear them and make our home a safe place for their curious and needy hearts.
I'm hoping that if I'm patient with their requests and listen with a loving ear, that they will one day feel the freedom to bring their needy hearts to the throne of Jesus.